fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize