I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
