I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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