I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
