She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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