some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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