Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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