Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
