I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
