i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
