why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
