I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
