Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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