i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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