I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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