I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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