Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
