i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
No stitches, just platelets and will power
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
