Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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