I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
