i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
