One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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