You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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