Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
