its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
