Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Randomize
