You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
