How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
