I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
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