I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
