I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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