Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
