p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
