No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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