So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The power of my boobs compel you
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize