dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
