I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
