We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
