So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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