debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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