Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
