can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize