Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
