my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize