two words: eviction party
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
