just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
