Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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