he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize