How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
