Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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