Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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