so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
