he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
