Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
