U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
