You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize