Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
