I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Help. Why am I so naked?
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