HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
