Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize