I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
