just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
