i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
