Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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