Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
