dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
