if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize