you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
