Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Terrible idea I love it
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
