Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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