I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
