the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
