stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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