What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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