So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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